How to be unhappy...

Make little things bother you. Don't just let them, MAKE them.

Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don't put first things first.

Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness.
Don't trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives.
Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery.
Take personally everything that happens to you.
Cultivate bad, addictive habits in yourself. Drink a lot. Smoke a lot. Eat a lot.

Go silent whenever someone sparks up a conversation that you don't know about.

You have the power to change other human beings.

Become irresistibly attracted to people who will never be there for you, on any level, ever....

Never say "I'm sorry.

Make sure you take things people say to you as an insult, and let them know it - especially if you know they didn't mean it that way!
Make sure you vocalize your unhappiness to your loved ones, every day! Share the wealth, take them with you!
"Always remember that if your partner loves you, he or she can read your mind. There is never a need to share openly with them how you feel."

"Surround yourself with only people that agree with everything you say. The last thing you need is contradictory opinions!"

Refuse to be responsible. Let others, especially your wealthy parents, support you financially. That way it doesn't matter if you can't hold a job, can't get a credit card, can't get a checking account or can't balance a checkbook if you do somehow get one
"Make this your mantra: Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, the world is against me! Say it enough, and you'll be darned if it weren't true!"

Let everyone know how lucky they are that you are in their presence.

Isolate her from friends and family and when she complains that you two haven't spoken in months, tell her you're too busy working whilst what you're really doing is surfing. This way you remain in control of her time and yours.